I'd like you to know that although I often write about people, events and entertainment that appear in the public sphere, I rarely have any direct connection to these subjects. Believe it or not, I am not a host of Surprise by Design, a direct descendant or personal assistant of Studs Terkel, or Kevin Clark from School of Rock.

I'd like to think that you believe I am a gateway to the stars of stage and screen, but this is not the case. Think of it this way. You know newspapers? Capn Design is kind of like that. I write about things without always having a direct connection to that thing.

So, I'm letting you know now that I, Matt Jacobs, am the only famous person accessible through this website. If you want to know about what it's like to be on Wheel of Fortune or how it feels to be in a commercial with Cindy Crawford at the age of six, then I'm your guy. But if you're looking for a Junior Mint hook up, then you need to look elsewhere.

Good luck to you, mildly inept searchers of the internet.

The Capn