If I could only attend one awards show in my life, it would be the AVN Awards, also known as the Porn Awards. It's not even because I would be seeing a lot of gratuitous nudity, but because I think it would be a huge party. I'm sure some in the porn industry take themselves seriously, but I could only imagine that they know how to have a good time and would really enjoy themselves. And, well, it would be pretty awesome to see all these porn starts giving acceptance speeches, wearing pants with custon crotches and...I think that's actually enough.

The best part, is that this is all truly possible. Anyone, who is willing to shell out the dough, can attend the AVN Awards. For $599 you get hotel, a ticket (normally $225), the post-party, and a VIP pass for the convention. It's January 9-12, 2003. I would honestly go if people were willing to come along with me. Nelly, start saving up because I know you're in.

Porn Party!