I spoke too soon.

May 8, 2001

Just when you think your gun trafficking escapades can go no further, think agin. About 10 minutes ago there was a loud knock on my door. It was a big, smelly man who didn't look happy. The first thing I thought was, "Oh my God, this guy wants to kill me. If he's buying guns I'm sure it isn't his first. I mean, these were some big guns." A long thought, but it was there. He soon explained he was a private investigator and I was able to relax, a little. I told him that there was already a detective on the case and I gave him the information. He told me that there were around 45 people who had been screwed out of their money. This brings a new update to our numbers:

Number of phone calls: 10
Number of people screwed over: approx. 45
Number of calls from Gunbroker.com: 2
Number of calls to police by other people: 2 (at least)
Number of calls to FBI by other people: 1 (at least)
Number of calls to Police by me: 2
Number of visits by Police Detective: 1
Number of visits by a Private Investigator: 1

One thing I forgot to mention was two run-ins I had with mailed packages. On Friday morning I was woken up by my mailman with a package. He handed it to me and I looked it over. It was a plain brown box with only one computer-printed label with my name, address and the number five on it. There was no return address. If you're anything like me, you immediately think that it is a bomb and someone wants to kill me for my supposed gun running. Well, I respond by opening the package as far away from me as possible, pretending that by holding it away from me I will not be blown to bits when the bomb goes off. I slowly cut the tape and then I open it very slowly because the bomb is pressure sensitive...right. I get past the tape and there is brown packing paper. I pull it away and there is McSweeney's fifth edition. It was a relief, but not nearly as cool.

Yesterday, when I got home I looked in my mailbox and I noticed a receipt saying I had a package to pick up at the post office because they couldn't deliver it. I could go and pick it up at 4pm. This is where I got suspicious because they never let you get the package the same day. Still, it was from a company called Action Express so I just figured I had ordered a CD and had forgotten about it. I went to the Post Office around 4:30 and handed them the slip. The man took the slip, went in back and stayed there for about a minute and a half. This was longer than usual and I heard some talking going on, so I was suspicious again. A different man emerged who looked to be in middle management instead of a clerk position. He explained to me that the package was recalled by the sender. I said, "Eh?" He told me he was sorry and stared at me until I left. It wasn't until today that I realized this was probably the police trying to get me into the post office to try and ID me. When I showed up and I wasn't an overweight cripple they thought "Damn" and let me go. I am going to ask the detective about this later.

At this point you know everything that I do about this. I hope you are enjoying this crazy adventure. Please let me know what you think.

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